Offices are funny places, aren’t they? A menagerie of many different personalities, work ethics and standards on what makes a socially acceptable meal to cook in the microwave. We’re looking at you, Bob. Put the mackerel away.
If you’ve ever worked in an office, you’ll know these nine things are true.
1. Everyone Gegs in on Your Diet
You’ve noticed an increase in the number of snacks around the office and are convinced Sandra from accounts is secretly trying to taunt you.
Your work besties are all trying their best to support you, though. They’ve championed your dedication to soup and carrot sticks. It’s all fun and games until you realise they’ve all been sneaking to the kitchen to eat biscuits.
2. You Never Get That Room You Booked on Time
No matter how hard you try, that meeting room is never available when you need it. You’d usually stand awkwardly within view to try and guilt-trip the culprit out, but it’s been 15 minutes now and you just look weird.
3. There is Never Enough Milk
Mmm. This milk-less tea is delicious.
Where does it all go? Is there a black hole created specifically for dairy produce?
4. Time is a Mystery
3 pm on a weekend? Why, it’s the middle of the day, let’s do all the things!
3 pm at work? Naptime.
5. You Have a BA Hons in Procrastination
You’re highly skilled in the art of doing 20 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 20 minutes. All that work you needed to do on Friday you said you’d do on Monday.
It’s now Monday and you’re busy thinking about how many sloths you could fit in the bin by the door, you’ve made a secret handshake with yourself and have now created a spreadsheet ranking all your favourite dog breeds.
6. There is no Need for Verbal Communication
It is completely normal for you to have entire conversations with people a mere five feet away via Slack. No time to talk, plenty of time to type. It’s also easier to show them all of the memes this way. Productivity!
7. You Could Happily Marry Your Lunch Break
Ah, lunch. The most glorious time of the day. You love to say hello but hate to say goodbye. Sometimes it all gets a bit too much and you eat everything you’ve brought in by 10 am.
It all becomes particularly exciting when it’s the day after payday and you can hear the faint calls of “Deliveroo” coming from your corner of the office.
8. You Get Very Invested in Work Gossip
You’ve no idea who any of it’s about, but you’re happy to get involved regardless. After offering up your skills in Facebook stalking, you are currently going through Denise’s brother’s girlfriend’s profile with a fine-toothed comb.
9. (Other People’s) Birthdays are the Highlight of Your Week
Why thank you, a man from IT with whom I have never spoken, I would love some of your birthday cake. Here is your card that we all signed. You’ll see that I haven’t addressed you by name, and that is because I forgot it. Happy birthday.
Want to try and stop putting off every task that comes your way and work more productively? Well, look no further than our guide to boosting your career productivity.